Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
