Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize