I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
