i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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