Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
