Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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