I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
