Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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