that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
