Kiss
Puke
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
