he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
