Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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