I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
