she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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