I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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