you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
