youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
