i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
