Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
