fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Hippo gnu deer
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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