the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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