i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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