i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
