def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
