It's just like the Real World with babies
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
