Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
