my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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