Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize