just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
