Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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