everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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