is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hippo gnu deer
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
