By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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