it hurts more in the daytime
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
