Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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