It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
