apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
