I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
