We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I know her cup size but not her name....
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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