I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
