why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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