dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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