when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
