Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
