dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
