I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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