I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
