I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
