He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize