Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
