that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
