I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
where are my eyebrows?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
