I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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