They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Randomize
