Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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