Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I supernannyed him into submission
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
