THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
