I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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