Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
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